Cailin Riley Books

I absolutely cannot believe that it has been two years since I published my first book, “How to Become a Grown-Ass Woman.”

Back in late 2022, I was in a different place. I wasn’t yet married, didn’t yet have a house and certainly didn’t anticipate that I would publish yet another book the following year!

My favorite part of releasing my book was hearing from so many friends and readers about how they related to the book and enjoyed it. It truly made all the time and effort poured into its pages worth it. It’s also funny to think about how that book started poolside during the pandemic, when I had tons of time on my hands and not much to do. That summer, I spent many days sitting with my laptop near the pool, just writing about life, past jobs and the current state of things. I had no idea at the time that all my ramblings would eventually form the basis for a self-help book for twenty-somethings.

In looking back, I’ve been curious to know if there is anything in my book that I no longer agree with, even just two years later.

Here’s what I discovered:

I wish I had smashed the patriarchy more.

Even though it was in my title, as one reviewer pointed out, I didn’t go into much depth about how to “smash the patriarchy.” Although this is huge topic to tackle, I wish I had included more tips on things the average twenty-something can do to fight patriarchal standards or practices. Maybe that should be its own book?

You can’t always leave toxic.

Life is hard and expensive. Not everybody can just leave their terrible job if they and family members rely on that income. Leaving an abusive relationship can be much harder if children or family members are involved. Many towns and cities lack adequate resources to assist people in bad situations.

Making friends through apps still sucks.

I laugh now at making the suggestion that readers find friends through apps such as Bumble BFF because they are still terrible. People still ghost you or have atrocious conversation skills. I can’t regret it completely because I’ve met some of my best friends through apps but they have been the exception, not the rule.

Settling doesn’t exist, just choices.

Hearing someone say “They’re settling” always bothered me and two years later, I finally know why: Because it doesn’t really exist. You might say that your cousin “settled” when she married that wackadoo from Texas but she probably doesn’t view it that way. She made a choice. When you choose something, you’re not settling. You’re making a choice for yourself, whether it ends up good or bad.