Bookish Things

The Advice that Didn’t Make It Into My Book

It’s officially been 4 months since I published my first book, “How to Become a Grown-Ass Woman!”

In case you’re new to this blog, I published my first book through Amazon in October of last year. My book is a short compendium of modern advice for women in their 20s and 30s. In the book, I cover a wide array of topics, including relationships, careers, side hustles, and big life changes.

I’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of positive feedback I’ve gotten from Amazon readers, Goodreads, book reviewers, and friends. Although I want to take my future writing into fiction, writing a self-help book has been an amazing experience.

In the interest of keeping my book short and sweet, I ended up having to cut down quite a bit of content in each chapter.

Here is some of the advice that didn’t make it into the book!


Realize that anything worth working toward takes time. Many products and programs out there promise big changes in really small time frames. (Think lose 30lbs in a single month diet programs.) But in my life, I’ve had to work hard to resist the temptation of these “shortcuts.” Building muscle takes time. So does adopting better eating habits or practicing good sleep hygiene.


Don’t be afraid to negotiate pay or salary. If a company revokes an offer because they think you’re asking for too much, it’s not a place that you’d want to work at anyway.


Figure out the best way for you to approach and pay off your debt. There are many methods to paying off debt. Some prefer to save up and then make a large payment; others like to throw small amounts at a balance to keep interest payments low. Both options are fine, it’s just whatever works best for you. I personally prefer to take my spare cash each paycheck and divide it in two: Half goes to the credit card debt and half goes to savings so I still feel like I’m paying myself a bit.


Know when to suck it up and go. I think most people enjoy the feeling of canceling plans or saying no to happy hour every now and then. And it’s well within your right to do so if you’re not feeling social from time to time. But to maintain a friendship, it’s important to know when to suck it up and go to happy hour. Good hints include whenever somebody is crying, has big news, or going through something traumatic.


Clearly define the “rules” of your relationship early on. This doesn’t need to be a formal sit-down but throughout the beginning of a relationship, you should ideally communicate with each other about what makes you tick. What things are important for the other person to do? What are your dealbreakers, i.e. cheating, horrible breath, etc.? Having these conversations early on helps set up expectations for later on so nobody feels blindsided.

Do any of these tips or ideas resonate with you? Feel free to share on social media and tag me! (@crafty_cay on Instagram and Twitter)

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